The Vegan Writer's Journal to Weight Loss

Author Michelle McGriff gives readers an upclose and personal look at her weight loss struggle. Her goal is to reduce the risk for diabetes which run rampant in her family as well as hypertension and other silent killers.

Dieting is not a dirty word in my family, it's a way of life. As a young girl I began dieting at the age of 12. Unhealthy fad diets, one right after the other plagued my childhood and riddled my adolesance until I developed a full blown eating disorder -Bulemia.

Since the start of my vegan journey began March 2008, I have tracked much of my eating and lifestyle changes. I must admit sometimes we don't know how sedentary we are until we get up and walk or how badly we eat until we stop such deadly behavior. It's just so naive to assume that by cutting something out we will get X effect without causing an affect.

Yes cutting out meat and animal products had a great effect no my body functions and even eased up some of my bone and joint issues that I've suffered with FM. However, the end result on my blood sugar by the increase in carbs to my body were silent but deadly. I was a walking--no sitting-- diabetes candidate.

Starting March 2008, I was very energetic about the changes to the diet and how I felt--pounds dropped off right away, but all that energy and excitement --with the increase of 'bad carbs to replace my fish and dairy--I should crashed into 'slugicity' and returned weight gain by summer.

Some young vegan will bulk at what I'm going to say because yes the body needs carbs to run jump and play--but as a writer, I was not doing those things. I was not jumping, running or playing. I was rolling out of bed after about 6 hours a bad sleep, chasing writing deadlines, and and as a doctoral student writing papers all day, and as a marketer for my books I was netoworking online and creating websites such as this one, so between getting up and crawling into bed again 18 hours later I'd consumed well over 500 carbs... enough to compete in the olympics! And what had I done to burn them off... nothing... I'd sat in one place and excercised my fingers and maybe rotated my shoulders once and a while to make sure I had blood flowing.

On a really good day I'd walk... I love to walk so that was easy. But even still it wasn't coming with consistancy. I knew dancing had cured my depression back in 2005 but even with that... I didn't feel depressed and so it hadn't occured to me to dance on a regular basis anyway!

During the year, while working a temp gig I met this lovely dancer named Robin who inspired me so I had started belly dancing a little bit. but after moving to California in the fall of 2008, I'd stopped dancing with any regularity, due to lack of space, place and motivation.

Finally, by winter, I accepted that I was fat and hopeless... which is an awful thing to accept at 49 years old! As a matter of fact, it's unacceptable. In march I weighed in at a happy 205 and by Fall I was back at 220... yes it was unacceptable... especially for me. I was spending a fortune on 'Health Foods' and other 'good eating' things! Or so I thought!

January 2009, with the release of my new book Last Breath and the entry into my doctoral exams--stress--was my middle name! Everything hurt again. I'd had major flair ups of GERD, and ulcer pain. My hair also was falling out again... in HAND FULLS. I could see my scalp!

My play sister who was always active in high school decided we would head to the gym. She was already doing this as her son was a trainer but finally she had put the WE on this and I too joined them once a week. At first it was a joke--I felt stupid and out of place like a whale on the beach. But eventually Dominic- her son- took mercy on me and developed a workout I could do. I felt great. So great that I started walking in the meantime between workouts-- I was walking 3 miles 3 times a week in addition to the workout. And not just any walk -- I was walking down the beach and the back up this really narley hill to the house. My friend--she could jog the hill but hey, I did well just to walk it!

Okay so I'm thinking I should be Slim Jim right... all in my vitural network felt I should be, yet, I kid you NOT... I was getting fatter!

By the time I moved back in June to Portland, I was up to 220 pounds. Yikes! And then to top it off, I immediately got sick--Portland has some strange air issues-- I think it's due to the elevation. It takes a little adjusting if you have any lung issues. Growing up asthmetic yes.. I had some issues. So anyway, that coupled with the onset of flu season I contracted something that threw me for a loop and a half. I was unable to walk even down the steps without being winded. I'm sure it was pnuemonia but without health insurance -- I could only guess.

Still I had writing to do only now I didn't pretend to have energy for more than that and writing was all I did.

Summer came without mercy this year! 107 degrees in PORTLAND OREGON???? Yes and my Psorisis and FM had me down for the count again! WOW... what could I do but think about dying--all the time. I was weeks from fifty and feeling like things would never get better.

Not one to forget all my self-theraphy to get over depression, I started cooking for relief of the blues--cookies, cakes, pies, and other 'vegan' goodies. But hey, just as diabetic food isn't 'diet' food...neither is vegan. WOW... one cookie with all the 'good stuff' could be an easy 100+ calories...and I was tearing them up!

August first 2009... I looked at my body in horror. I looked at my life in dismay. My writing career feeling the effects of the ecomonic slump, there was no job on the horizon for 50 year old 'future' PhD, and my love with wearing a big question mark behind the word--reality. I was offically depressed.

Like any good recovered neuortic, I turned on the music and began to dance, I cleaned my house, gathered my wits, dove into vitural network with determination to stay alert for avenues to improve my life. And then it hit me...

The base of my unhappiness lie in my confidence level which for as long as I can remember has always been directly connected with my outward appearance. Sorry folks no major revelation here--I grew up with criticism and I only know how to function until it's constraints. Although I was able to balance some of the bigger issues like... I'm me and that's okay...or that maddening fight to keep my self esteem high... I still have issues with my self imagine.

I dug deep... deeper than ever and I came up with several thoughts on life and living and decided first that they were 2 separate entities. I had first to get my LIFE in order.. which include my health... my weight was out of control--again! My writing was under the microscope--again! My education was in question--again! My love life was non-existant--again! I was broke--again! Okay.. I knew what I was working with.

Living... I need to get busy doing it! Period. I quickly started looking for a place that I could enjoy my life without the same outward elements I have been enduring for 50 years. And it came to me... EUROPE. Yep... I'm outta here ASAP. Headed across the waters to a new life where living will be something new for the next 50 years.

The day came! August 25, 2009... I turned 50...with a plan!

September 1, 2009 I put that plan into action and at the time of this Journal log, September 14th, I'm 8 pounds lighter. 400 carbs cut from my daily intake and today starts my 30 minute sweat-fest at the gym...

WOW, I feel great!

Many writers find time to go to the gym, many of us don't nor can we afford it. For me, I have one in my complex. if you cannot afford a gym see if you have a friend who can share their membership--taking you as a guest, even once a week will pay off! But it takes YOU to make it work...

Join a dance class... heck, dance in your living room to a video. Youtube can teach you any dance steps you want to learn!

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Author McGriff - 220 pounds